For a good part of my teenage / adult life I was afraid about events that might happen in the future; I worried about the outcome of my actions and their negative results for my life in the future and I also questioned if I could cope with the challenges I’d be faced with.
Please don’t get me wrong; I wasn’t a scared-cat at all and my worries never started to take control over my life or reduced my quality of living, nevertheless, negative thoughts remained inside me and often kept me awake for hours in the night; thinking about things I couldn’t control or influence in anyway.
When I was a teenager it was the fear of being labeled a failure because I honestly had no clue what I wanted to do after high school. I wasn’t worried about bad marks in school or was concerned about what my teachers and friends would think about me; I didn’t fear the possible punishments for bad marks (maybe because I never was punished for bad marks, luckily); I simply was fearful of failing in school, failing classes and being separated from those around me. I simply did not wanted to be labeled as a failure because for me it seemed like everyone knew what they wanted to do and become in their lives.
Now as an adult those thoughts have changed into fears of “Am I doing the right thing for my son?”, “How can I show my son he is more than just his diagnoses of Autism?”, “Are people in our lives feeling burdened with me asking for help?”. Now I know those who truly care about my son and myself will always be there to help when they can and that no we are not a burden. However it is little things like that which can grow into bigger fears and then cause bigger issues in ones life.
So from one single mommy to anyone reading this let give you a little piece of advice….
You are not a failure
You may feel lost and have anxiety about some life choices but that does not make you a failure. Everyone stresses about the little things in life but they are just that, little things. Take a moment and focus on the positive in your life, look at how much you’ve grown and have learned. Those moments where you felt like you’ve hit the bottom, you have got back up and are still moving forward. Look at how much you’ve accomplished in the past year, yes maybe everything you wanted to do hasn’t been done but be proud of what you have done.
The only real failure would be giving up 100% and as long as you are trying to reach your goals in life you are not failing. So stop comparing yourself to those around you, yes someone may have a nicer car, be taking extravagant vacations, buying their first home…etc. Their accomplishments are not your own and will not have any real effect on your life. You’ll still have your home, your possessions, your health, your family / friends.
Remember you’re awesome and no matter what life has thrown your way you have a 100% success rate when it comes to bad days or hard times.