Category: Random


Has something ever shown up in your social media feed and hit real close to home. Well that’s what happened to me last night. Like most people I was laying in bed, gwacking at my cell phone because I couldn’t fall asleep and after mindlessly scrolling down my feed I came across a blog post by another mommy whose words rang so very true. Here is what she wrote….

“More often than not, there are days when no coffee in the world can touch your exhaustion. And when you’re ready to tag in your partner, oh wait…that’s you. You’re it.

There are times when things just don’t seem fair, and you know what, it’s probably because they aren’t. But you rise above anyway.

There are moments, many moments, when you question whether or not one person is capable of all you are called to duty for, and whether a human body is equipped for it or not. But somehow you find a way.

There are evenings when all is quiet in the house, and you feel not only a sense of relief, but also pain from the deafening silence. It seems inconceivable that someone could feel both of these things simultaneously, but it is indeed possible.

There are mornings when you wish you could ask for just a few more minutes, but no, those little humans are waiting and ready and depending on you. When you’re called up to the plate, there is no substitute.

There are situations where you simply stop dead in your tracks and ask, “Why?” followed by a quick, “And how will I…?” Despite usually not getting your answer, you still put one foot in front of the other and off you go.

You’re one person for a job that requires more like four.

You’re one caretaker who yearns for the day when you, too, will be taken care of. But until then, you will push on.

You’re one provider living in an economy where the majority of the time it takes at least two incomes to even scrape by.

You’re one parent who is beating the odds, more often than not doing what seems unmanageable even when there are two.

But while you’re one, you’re doing it. Some days are harder than others, but here you are—one more day. Just when you say you can’t, seconds later you are living “I can.”

To all single parents: You were, you are, and you will. You’re incredible.

Here’s to one more day of being a gladiator.”

I don’t know if it was because of the lack of sleep, caffeine levels being very low or the fact that I just found out my washer decided to demolish itself from the inside out but what she wrote was something that I needed to hear. I’m a single parent and yes there are times where I wish someone would just tell me “You know you’re acting dumb, but I still love you” while giving me a kiss on the forehead and a much needed hug. However that’s just not in the cards  for me right now (by my own doing) and you know what that’s ok, it doesn’t change the fact that I will doing anything for my son or change how much I enjoy the time we spend together.  It also doesn’t change the fact that I’m doing the work of many on my own, which even though I’d enjoy a vacation I’m oddly ok with. All this being said I hope that her words make you feel better as well.

Here is the link to Regans’ original blog post:
http://www.scarymommy.chttp://www.scarymommy.com/single-parent-pushes-on/om/single-parent-pushes-on/

Being a parent is one of the greatest joys in life, but it also is one of the most challenging experiences one can possibly face. From the sweet moments of laughing and watching your little one discover new things to the difficult moments like an unexpected tantrum over the wrong color cup. No matter what you are always there for them… and sometimes, it can be really easy to get worn out.

I came across  Bethany Jacobs in my news feed and saw a letter she wrote where she describes some of those highs and lows. The lows can feel unbearable, but Bethany has three words for the moms (any parent really) who feel they’re failing: “You are enough”. I’ll share her letter below, it has already touched the hearts of so many moms– and dads- out there.

” To the mom hiding in her bathroom, needing peace for just one minute, as the tears roll down her cheeks..

To the mom who is so tired she feel likes she can’t function anymore and would do anything to lay down and get the rest she needs…

To the mom sitting in her car, alone, stuffing food in her face because she doesn’t want anyone else to see or know she eats that stuff…

To the mom crying on the couch after she yelled at her kids for something little and is now feeling guilty and like she is unworthy…

To the mom that is trying desperately to put those old jeans on because all she really wants is to look in the mirror and feel good about herself…

To the mom that doesn’t want to leave the house because life is just too much to handle right now…

To the mom that is calling out for pizza again because dinner just didn’t happen the way she wanted it to…

To the mom that feels alone, whether in a room by herself or standing in a crowd…

You are enough.
You are important.
You are worthy.

This is a phase of life for us. This is a really really hard, challenging, crazy phase of life.

In the end it will all be worth it. But for now it’s hard. And it’s hard for so many of us in many different ways. We don’t always talk about it, but it’s hard and it’s not just you.

You are enough.
You are doing your best.
Those little eyes that look up at you – they think you are perfect. They think you are more than enough.

Those little hands that reach out to hold you – they think you are the strongest. They think you can conquer the world.

Those little mouths eating the food you gave them – they think that you are the best because their bellies are full.

Those little hearts that reach out to touch yours – they don’t want anything more. They just want you.

Because you are enough. You are more than enough, mama.

You. Are. Amazing. ”

The original post can be found on her Facebook page (it’s also posted below), if you’re looking for a group that was originally founded out of a moms need for support and community in the early days and months of motherhood than I think her page is one you should check out.
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It’s that time of year again but this year instead of a necklace you can show your support via these lovely earrings. They can be bough at any London Drugs location across British Columbia and Alberta, are only $20 and the proceeds go to the newly built Pacific Autism Family Centre

The puzzle piece to me has many meanings the most important part is that it is a small piece to help represent my son. No matter what he will always be my son, my world, my heart and my reason for doing a lot of the things I do. Without him I wouldn’t have a complete picture and don’t think my life, much like a puzzle, would ever be complete.

Autism is something we’re still trying to understand since everyone who is effected by autism is affected differently, even if they are on the same part of the spectrum. I’ve mentioned the following groups / sites before for those looking for support / information or just to see that you’re not alone and your child (or yourself) will be just fine even though they have autism. Autism doesn’t need a cure it needs understanding and less ignorance by those who don’t have it in their lives either by themselves, family or friends. There are many successful people who have kept their autism quiet in fear or being judged or thought less of. We hear about some of their stories but in the end anyone autism or not are capable of wonderful things and can be/do anything they work for.

In case you missed the links to the group / sites I normally mention when I bring up autism awareness here they are again.

Pacific Autism Family Centre,
a centre of excellence / network of supports for individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorder (both young and old) and their families across the province.
http://pacificautismfamily.com/

Bryan’s’ group
, it is a great source of support for those with Autism or parents / friends of those who are living with Autism:
https://www.facebook.com/AspergerSyndromeAwareness/

Autism Speaks Canada, has lots of information and goes into deeper detail then I ever could.
http://www.autismspeaks.ca/

Canucks Autism Network (CAN), they provide year-round, high- quality sports, recreational, arts, and social programs for individuals and families living with autism, while spreading awareness and providing training in communities across British Columbia.
http://www.canucksautism.ca/

Sorry for my absence….

Life gets crazy no matter who you are.

My life as of lately has been sort of a gong show mixed with a delicate balancing act, kind of like one you’d see at Cirque Du Soleil. I wanted to take a quick moment to say I am sorry if you have been waiting for a yummy new recipe, life update or any of my randomness. I will be posting again soon but just need a few more weeks before getting back to my weekly posts.

I promise to make it up with something super yummy.
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More than meets the eye…

When you see a disabled person, do you think about the person beyond the disability? Do you make an effort know the person behind the face you see?

Same goes for if you see someone who looks “normal“, do you ever think their disability is an act for attention or an excuse to get out of responsibilities ?

The bottom line is a person with a disability is a person first, and their disability only make a small part of who they are.

No one wants to be treated different, feel left out or alone. Many over come their disabilities or find ways to cope but when they then speak out about them there is a lot of judgement where there should be understanding.  This needs to change. There are so many people who keep their mental disabilities / struggles to themselves (myself one of them) in fear of being treated different, shown pity or judged. When I finally open up to people about my anxiety, insomnia and newly diagnosed PTSD  (Ok, not so new I was diagnosed in 2013) people seem to be taken back and don’t know how to react. Which is fine at first, because all they have got to know/see is someone who is compassionate, strong willed, understanding, appears to have her shit together…etc. My son gets the same reaction which I’m sure he’ll learn to smirk at or shrug off because he is so much more than his autism. We all have our struggles no matter if they’re physical, mental or us just trying to deal with what life has thrown our way. In the end people need to show more compassion/understanding, not just show pity but try to actually see a persons worth and ability through their disability.

Yes I have my mental disabilities but I am so much more. I am a single mom to a wonderful little boy. I’m a person who rather spend time in the company of animals then with people. I’m someone who is compassionate, very empathetic,  yet is quick witted and very clever. I am a certified trained chef, music junkie (My playlist has everything from classical to dub-step, metal to R&B..etc), lover of the arts and outdoors. My Anxiety, Insomnia and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder are all just a small part of me and the positive traits that make me who I am are so much better than the mental disability labels that people like to put on me.

Compassion is something that seems to be fading away in today’s world and I’m writing this in hopes that it helps people remember that a little understanding goes a lone way. Show it not only towards those with disabilities but to everyone. You never know what someone is going through and sometimes offering to listen judgement free helps more than anyone would ever think. So please remember to be kind, show compassion and just learn to love people for who they are and not just the labels that society may put on them.

….be grateful.

It’s easy to get swept up in the every day mindset of always wanting more, or doing better and that’s not a bad thing. Having goals / personal drive is something we should all have however that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be grateful for what we do have.

We see it on the news, hear it on the radio, read it in our Social Media feds there are many families who do struggle and go without. It’s more reason to take a moment to truly appreciate what you do have in your life, a roof over your head, warm food, clean clothes to wear, a place to lay your head to rest, the list could easily go on.

Maybe while you’re taking that moment to realize what you have to be grateful for you can also find it in you to pass it forward and give to a local charity. It doesn’t have to be money, maybe there is an old pair of shoes you don’t wear anymore, some clothes that don’t fit, old books or household goods. There are many charities that will accept all of this and much much more. They will even make sure it gets into the hands of someone truly in need of it, and who knows that one simple gesture may just be what someone needs to make a real difference in their life.

With all this in mind, please be grateful for the things you do have no matter how big or small they might be. However don’t also forget to be kind and show some compassion towards others not only at this time of year but all year as well.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Festive Kwanza, Blessed Yule…etc. Whatever you are celebrating I hope you have a good time filled with loved ones, wonderful new memories and full bellies.

A small thank you….

I’m going to start off by saying that I did not write this, it came up in my news feed and I had to spread the message along. As a mom to a little one on the autism spectrum I can relate to it on many levels, even with my son now being in grade two.

The original blog came from From The Bowels of Motherhood a mom who writes about raising three littles, autism and military family life. Here is what she wrote….

This is your first week of kindergarten. You are nervous and excited. You are getting into a new routine and meeting new friends. One of those new friends is my boy. He comes into your class only for a half hour each day because being in there all day would be too much for him. He goes to recess with you, but he has a grownup right there with him because sometimes he tries to runaway and he doesn’t always understand playground rules.

When I saw the two of you holding hands today, my eyes filled with tears and my heart filled with joy. I know you don’t understand why it means so much to me that my son has a friend. I know you are happy to play with a boy who is filled with life and laughter. I won’t say thank you for being his friend, because I know you like him for him and not to get a pat on the back.  

I do have a favor to ask you, though.  Right now your days are filled with story time, play time and crafts and you both do pretty well side by side.  But, you see, my son has autism and I know there will come a time when you will start to notice his differences. 

You’ll notice the holes in every shirt he has because when he’s anxious he chews on his collar. You’ll notice he runs back and forth and flaps his hands when he’s excited. You may start to notice he often talks a little too loudly.  You will start to wonder why he covers his ears when he’s surrounded by people. You will start to notice the stares from other kids when he gets upset about seemingly little things.  You will notice he often asks the same question over and over again.  You will see he often gets stuck on a subject and can’t always move on to talk about something else.  You will start to wonder why he rides a different bus or why he spends so much time in another classroom. You will notice he does different school work and he can’t ride a bike. You will hear other kids making fun of him. You will then realize he doesn’t understand they’re mocking him. These epiphanies won’t hit you all at once, but I know they’re coming just the same.  

For today, I am going to hold onto and cherish the image of the two of you holding hands, blissfully unaware of your differences.  But as time goes by and you start to notice, I ask with all my heart that you don’t let go.

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A special thank you to the mom for writing this and expressing the emotions / thoughts that I have had many times. A big thank you to the little man in my son’s class who has become his friend and looks out for him, I really must meet your parents to give them the biggest hug on raising such an awesome little man.  For everyone else, I hope this can serve as a reminder that people with autism or any mental health issue have so much going on already that all they need is a little understanding / compassion. They still want to learn, have fun and be included like everyone else.

Making it smell like the holidays…

I normally turn to my Scentsy  collection when I want my home to smell like the holidays but they haven’t made the scent that tickles my memories of my childhood Christmases. That’s when a friend of mine reminded me of how you can just use your stove top and some easy to find ingredients that do the trick.

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What you will need:
1/2 cup cranberries
1 bay leaf
1 orange, sliced
1 green lemon
2 cinnamon sticks
1 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp pumpkin spice
2 TBS cloves
2 1/2 cups water

Here’s what you do:
1. Fill a medium size pot with 2 1/2 cups of cold water, put on the stove top.
2. Add all the ingredients into the pot and simmer on the lowest level until all water has evaporated.

3. Refill and re-simmer (not sure that’s even a word but it totally works here so there ya have it…) until your home fills with the smells of the holidays.

.: Side Note:.
I use green lemons because they have a stronger smell then yellow lemons, but if you can’t find green ones try using two yellow lemons in it’s place.

Don’t get me wrong Scentsy has a wonderful Winter collection which I do turn to this time of year but some times you just need to make your own wonderful smells

As I’m sure many people are aware Halloween is just around the corner and very soon we will have many ghouls and ghosts knocking at our doors in search for a sweet treat.

I want to take a moment to remind many not to turn away teenagers on Halloween night. I know it may make you scratch your head or say “No they’re too old for that” but think about this. Many people with mental disabilities look “normal” so that teen you turn away may be crushed because they don’t fully understand the concept of age or social ques. You never know how much someone may of been looking forward to putting on their costume and having the chance to do something as simple as trick-or-treat to feel “normal“. Not every disability is noticeable so when it comes to teenagers trick-or-treating just give them some candy like you would anyone who would come to your door on Halloween.

Mental disabilities aside you can also take this moment to help a teenager feel good about making a positive choice in their life. Many young teenagers are pressured into drinking with their peers or going to parties, make a teenager feel good about still having the Halloween spirit.

With all this being said I hope you all have a wonderful Halloween filled with sweets and some spooks. I’m also going to remind you all to perhaps take part in the Teal Pumpkin Project so those with allergies can have a safe and fun Halloween as well.

 

 

A small reminder….

Christmas, it’s easy to get excited about and has probably already crept its’ way into many of the stores that you regularly visit. It’s a holiday that many will prep for weeks ahead of time even though they will celebrate the other festive holidays that come first. I’ll admit that even myself will get wrapped up in the hype of the holiday and will want to start decorating once the Halloween decor comes down but please remember this…..

Remembrance Day should be given respect well before Christmas.

There are many who have fought and even more who are still fighting for what we have today. Give them their moment of silence and respect what they have gone without while we have gone with plenty. I’m not saying don’t get into the holiday spirit I’m just asking that it is done after November 11th.

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