Tag Archive: understanding


More than meets the eye…

When you see a disabled person, do you think about the person beyond the disability? Do you make an effort know the person behind the face you see?

Same goes for if you see someone who looks “normal“, do you ever think their disability is an act for attention or an excuse to get out of responsibilities ?

The bottom line is a person with a disability is a person first, and their disability only make a small part of who they are.

No one wants to be treated different, feel left out or alone. Many over come their disabilities or find ways to cope but when they then speak out about them there is a lot of judgement where there should be understanding.  This needs to change. There are so many people who keep their mental disabilities / struggles to themselves (myself one of them) in fear of being treated different, shown pity or judged. When I finally open up to people about my anxiety, insomnia and newly diagnosed PTSD  (Ok, not so new I was diagnosed in 2013) people seem to be taken back and don’t know how to react. Which is fine at first, because all they have got to know/see is someone who is compassionate, strong willed, understanding, appears to have her shit together…etc. My son gets the same reaction which I’m sure he’ll learn to smirk at or shrug off because he is so much more than his autism. We all have our struggles no matter if they’re physical, mental or us just trying to deal with what life has thrown our way. In the end people need to show more compassion/understanding, not just show pity but try to actually see a persons worth and ability through their disability.

Yes I have my mental disabilities but I am so much more. I am a single mom to a wonderful little boy. I’m a person who rather spend time in the company of animals then with people. I’m someone who is compassionate, very empathetic,  yet is quick witted and very clever. I am a certified trained chef, music junkie (My playlist has everything from classical to dub-step, metal to R&B..etc), lover of the arts and outdoors. My Anxiety, Insomnia and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder are all just a small part of me and the positive traits that make me who I am are so much better than the mental disability labels that people like to put on me.

Compassion is something that seems to be fading away in today’s world and I’m writing this in hopes that it helps people remember that a little understanding goes a lone way. Show it not only towards those with disabilities but to everyone. You never know what someone is going through and sometimes offering to listen judgement free helps more than anyone would ever think. So please remember to be kind, show compassion and just learn to love people for who they are and not just the labels that society may put on them.

A small thank you….

I’m going to start off by saying that I did not write this, it came up in my news feed and I had to spread the message along. As a mom to a little one on the autism spectrum I can relate to it on many levels, even with my son now being in grade two.

The original blog came from From The Bowels of Motherhood a mom who writes about raising three littles, autism and military family life. Here is what she wrote….

This is your first week of kindergarten. You are nervous and excited. You are getting into a new routine and meeting new friends. One of those new friends is my boy. He comes into your class only for a half hour each day because being in there all day would be too much for him. He goes to recess with you, but he has a grownup right there with him because sometimes he tries to runaway and he doesn’t always understand playground rules.

When I saw the two of you holding hands today, my eyes filled with tears and my heart filled with joy. I know you don’t understand why it means so much to me that my son has a friend. I know you are happy to play with a boy who is filled with life and laughter. I won’t say thank you for being his friend, because I know you like him for him and not to get a pat on the back.  

I do have a favor to ask you, though.  Right now your days are filled with story time, play time and crafts and you both do pretty well side by side.  But, you see, my son has autism and I know there will come a time when you will start to notice his differences. 

You’ll notice the holes in every shirt he has because when he’s anxious he chews on his collar. You’ll notice he runs back and forth and flaps his hands when he’s excited. You may start to notice he often talks a little too loudly.  You will start to wonder why he covers his ears when he’s surrounded by people. You will start to notice the stares from other kids when he gets upset about seemingly little things.  You will notice he often asks the same question over and over again.  You will see he often gets stuck on a subject and can’t always move on to talk about something else.  You will start to wonder why he rides a different bus or why he spends so much time in another classroom. You will notice he does different school work and he can’t ride a bike. You will hear other kids making fun of him. You will then realize he doesn’t understand they’re mocking him. These epiphanies won’t hit you all at once, but I know they’re coming just the same.  

For today, I am going to hold onto and cherish the image of the two of you holding hands, blissfully unaware of your differences.  But as time goes by and you start to notice, I ask with all my heart that you don’t let go.

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A special thank you to the mom for writing this and expressing the emotions / thoughts that I have had many times. A big thank you to the little man in my son’s class who has become his friend and looks out for him, I really must meet your parents to give them the biggest hug on raising such an awesome little man.  For everyone else, I hope this can serve as a reminder that people with autism or any mental health issue have so much going on already that all they need is a little understanding / compassion. They still want to learn, have fun and be included like everyone else.