Tag Archive: yougotthis


Just relax….

Wait, how do I do that again?

Relaxing, what is this magic you speak of?

I vaguely remember something about that from when I was younger, but now I have no idea exactly what that means or how to do it.  I’m constantly on the move, which I don’t mind, but if you asked me what I do to relax I honestly couldn’t tell you. It’s an odd feeling to be sitting down rigidly because you’ve forgotten how to turn your body into a fluid entity allowing your body to morph into the shape of the pile of pillows on the couch.

The constant feeling of being on edge, the creeping thought of if I relax someone is going to get some weird mental notification and need something. I may of forgot to do something and then I go through that check list in my mind covering everything that needed to be done, this list really can go on.

This is why relaxing is harder than I remembered!

So here I am trying to re-teach myself how to relax. I know I haven’t been taking care of my rest and relaxation needs, so much like many other things in my life I made little list to remind myself what I need to do and hopefully it helps you out or inspires you with some ideas to help you relax if you find yourself in the same boat as me.

 

Release Tension: Do some yoga!!! If that’s not your sort of thing sometimes if you tense up your muscles, then relax them methodically, it can help your body recognize what it means to relax. Here is how you can do it,  lie down and start tensing up your muscles. Start at your toes, then work your way up to you face. Once everything is tensed up, start at the face and start relaxing all those muscles until you’re back to your toes. It feels great and you really do feel relaxed when you’re done.

 

Pamper Yourself: Do something to make yourself feel good. Take a nap, meditate, do your nails, do your hair, take a bubble bath or hot shower. Do something that makes you feel good, confident or gives you a mood booster. Be creative and show yourself that you deserve a 30 minute break every now and then, or even every day!

 

Exercise: Easier said than done for some, but sometimes the best way to relax is to wear your body out. Do some exercise and use the physical exertion to work out the stress and frustration of the day, then when you’re done, your body will be ready for a break and a little relaxation.

 

Find a Hobby: Being busy with something you love can sometimes be just as relaxing as doing nothing at all.  Even when you’re focused, working hard, and doing what others might not consider relaxation, it can be extremely relaxing. What about painting or reading? Collecting something? One of mine is being out in nature! Be creative and try some things out until you find the one that is just right for you.

 

Do Nothing: That’s right, just the opposite of finding a hobby.  Sometimes your mind is so overstimulated that just doing nothing is what you need.  Maybe it’s taking a nap, or just laying on the bed with your eyes closed. I personally like to melt into the couch and watch mindless TV or throw on a racing video game and just zone out.

 

DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF: It’s easy to get swept up with daily stress, but is it all really worth the stress and inner turmoil? Will it truly effect you or those around you in a negative way if you don’t deal with something right now? Is it really worth the negativity and attention you’re giving whatever you are stressing about? If not, then just forget about it for a few moments and then go back to it with a new perspective later on.

 

Just Breathe:  It’s amazing what a few really deep breaths can do. When you are starting to feel really stressed take a moment to stand still, sit, lay down, whatever you feel comfortable for that moment. Take a really deep breath in through your nose and let it out slowly through your mouth. Do this a few times and you’ll notice that your shoulders and body feel a little less tense and you’ll be able to carry on about whatever you’re doing will a little more of a clear head.

 

Remember You Got This: It’s easy to feel deflated and loosing a little confidence when you’re feeling really stressed. Try to take a second to think of three things you’re really proud of yourself about or difficult hings you’ve overcame before and just believe in yourself. I know this one is tricky when you’re already not in the right frame of mind, but it will help you feel good about yourself and take on any challenges you may be facing.

 

You don’t need to do all of these things, just figure out what one may work best for you and give it a try. The most important thing is to remember that you deserve / need some time to unwind and relax even if it is just for ten uninterrupted minutes a day.

Advertisements

A note to self…

Or in case you just needed a reminder,

When you set a new standard on how you expect to be treated, you’ll be surprised at those who disappear from your life. It’s a hard pill to swallow when you realize how many people benefited from your lack of self love, respect and boundaries.

Remember there is nothing wrong with cutting toxic people out of your life, or those who only come around when you’re a convenience to them. You are worth more than that and deserve better, fill your life with those who want to see you succeed along with them and not just be there to help them succeed.

It’s hard to remember this when you feel like there is a friendship/relationship worth saving but in the end anyone who truly cares for you wouldn’t put you in this emotional head space to start. It’s hard to stand up for ourselves and horrible things will probably be said behind our backs for doing so, but remember you are worth so much better and deserve it just as much as anyone else. You got this ❤

 

 

 

No resolutions for me

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again you don’t need a New Years resolutions and if you do make one don’t make it an empty resolution. I’m gonna take a jump back to 2016 to bring back some old advice that still stands true and may be able to help start this year off right.

No resolutions for me
Written by me in 2016

It’s been almost two full weeks into the New Year, and I want 2016 to be the year people actually accomplish stuff. It doesn’t matter if it is getting your first pull-up, running your first muddy marathon, or learning to play that guitar that sits there unused since you bought it at that random garage sale. And the way you’re going to do that is by saying no to resolutions.

Most New Year’s resolutions are hallow ideas that could realistically be set any time of the year and if they actually mattered to you and could be started when you actually want to make a change. Things like….

“I’m going to exercise every day.”

“I’m going to start brushing my teeth more”

“I’m going to eat better.”

Let’s be honest, we know these things aren’t going to become habit right away yet we declare a random  goal, and then we look back at year’s end and realize we never really got out of the starting gate. Things come up, life gets busy and then the excuses start to creep their way in so you don’t feel so bad about yourself and things like…

Well I told myself I wanted to run more and eat better, and I was motivated for a few weeks, but then life got busy and it kind of faded away…Oops

..I bet that started sounding real familiar.

You need to stop with those “motivational” quotes / photos because in the end they don’t really help. Instead try to make a goal board, something where you constantly see where you want to end up and actually write a plan on how you are going to get there. Don’t get me wrong motivation / inspiration are a great way to get started on figuring out what you want to achieve but in the end it won’t do the work for you. Only you can do the work and end up with where you want to be.

That decision to sit on the couch instead of going for a run isn’t just a lack of building the habit of running — it’s reinforcing the habit of sitting on the couch. The decision to eat fast food rather than something healthy isn’t just a decision to not eat better, it’s reinforcing the behavior of eating junk food.

Our brains are a wonderful, strange and very complicated thing. It does however always look for the past of least resistance, and when you perform an activity over and over again, it requires less brain power to get you to do that thing. Do you remember how tough it was to drive a car for the first time? How nervous you would be and possibly over think every little action. Now it’s something you can do with very minimal thought and is almost second nature.

When you are looking to build a new habit, start by keeping the habit small and attainable. Make it black-and-white and don’t leave room for excuses: I did this/I did not do this. The smaller the daily goal the better. A five minute walk, five minutes of playing that guitar, or even writing every day even if it is only just 250 words. Once you achieve your daily goals they can then be turned into weekly goals and then grow again into monthly goals so on and so forth. I personally try not to set up my goals for over a month just because for me after the first month I will let some things slide and let excuses take over, having to start from square one all over again.

To help build your new habit so you are achieving your goals you need to put a reward/accountability system in place . A reward/accountability system that does two key things: increases the pain associated with skipping the new habit, and increases the pleasure associated with completing the habit.

You NEED to take the power away from your brain to say “meh, I can skip the run this one time” or “meh, I just don’t feel like it today. I’ll make up for it tomorrow.”

If you set up a reward / accountability system you can put things in place like…

If you go for a short 15 – 20min run every day for the next 4 weeks, you earn a new pair of running shoes

…or how about finally getting that fitness tracker you had your eye on or new guitar tuner. Things like this  encourages you to continue on with your goal. Reward yourself with things that reward you back and also keep you on track with your goals. Also it’s ok being hard on yourself, if you didn’t keep up with your goals YOU DON’T GET REWARDED. You wouldn’t pay someone for a job they didn’t do would you ?

It’s also very important to make our environments work for us not against us. Change things up in your home to either take away temptations or help break the reliance on them, for example try…..

Throwing out all junk food in your house.

Blocking time wasting websites on your computer or add a screen locking setting after so many minutes.

Take the TV out of your bedroom, getting a better nights sleep with help in your day to day life no matter what your goal is.

Putting your alarm clock across the room so you have to get out of bed to turn it off. If your alarm clock is your cell phone move your cell phone charger so you can’t lie in bed and check it.

Changing up your environment will let you then focus more on your goals, because once you make that first initial change you can then….

Only stock your fridge with healthy food.

Pack your gym bag and leaving it in the back of your car always so you can work out before work/after work. Or even leave it by the front door next to your purse / house keys so you can grab it as you’re leaving.

Buy a Kindle with guitar books loaded on it and bring it everywhere so you read more.

Screw relying on “willpower” you create your own success by structuring your life and making your own new routines. You can either do it by yourself or with a group of friends. If you can find a group of friends or even just one person who has the same goals as you use each other to keep the accountability in achieving said goals. Plus you can implement a “lazy” fee, simply tell one another that if we try pulling the “not today” excuse you then owe the other person something. It could be as simple as five dollars or build up to “You now owe me lunch“. Finding people who have the same goals or even similar ones (going to the gym more or loosing those last ten pounds can work hand in hand) is a great way to not only keep up your goals but keep an interest in making a real change.

My only last piece of advice would be use Google to your advantage. The internet it a wonderful thing if you let it be, it has many solutions to almost any goal. There are recipes galore, tips and tricks on how to take those first few steps, even forms / groups where you can ask advice (most of the time judgement free).

So good luck to everyone, I hope this helps you not only set some new goals for yourself but also keep them.

From One Mom To Another

To the mom hiding in their locked bathroom, needing peace for just one minute, as the tears roll down her cheeks..

To the mom who is so tired she feel likes she can’t function anymore and would do anything to lay down and get the rest she needs but won’t because if she does she feels nothing will ever get done…

To the mom crying  after she yelled at her kids for something little and is now feeling guilty and like she is unworthy…

To the mom that is trying desperately to put those old jeans on because all she really wants is to look in the mirror and feel good about herself…

To the mom that doesn’t want to leave the house because life is just too much to handle right now…

To the mom that is calling out for food again because dinner just didn’t happen the way she wanted it to…

To the mom that feels alone, whether in a room by herself or standing in a crowd…

You are enough.
You are important.
You are worthy.

This is a phase of life for us. This is a really really hard, challenging, crazy phase of life.

In the end it will all be worth it. But for now it’s hard. And it’s hard for so many of us in many different ways. We don’t always talk about it, but it’s hard and it’s not just you.

You are enough.
You are doing your best.
You got this.

Those little eyes that look up at you – they think you are perfect. They think you are more than enough.

Those little hands that reach out to hold you – they think you are the strongest. They think you can conquer the world.

Those little mouths eating the food you gave them (even if it was a battle at first) – they think that you are the best because their bellies are full.

Those little hearts that reach out to touch yours – they don’t want anything more. They just want you.

Because you are enough. You are more than enough, and you got this.
You. Are. Amazing. ❤️

Reminder to self…

There are moments in life were other peoples actions make you feel pretty low about yourself. It’s at these moments where you need to just take a step back and remember all the wonderful or weird things you do/like are what make you pretty damn awesome.

I recently had one of these moments. It dragged on way longer than it should of and you know what, it sucked. It took almost three days of me stepping back from everything and trying to re-focus / re-group doing simple things like having showers that were way to long just so I could think, playing music louder than it needed to be just so my son and I could dance about like idiots and a lot of mini adventures with him to make me remember that I kick ass.

That I’m so much more than just a mom. Don’t get me wrong my son will always come first and I will always be his biggest fan / supporter / advocate when it comes to anything he does even more so anything that over comes the label as an “Autistic Child” all while trying to provide him with the best life that I possibly can.

But just because I’m a mom doesn’t mean my life stops there….I’m the person who you can call a true friend.

The type of person who will not only help you move, but will also pick you up from the airport with flowers so you remember how special you are and  so you don’t have to take the bus or taxi home.

I’m also that friend who will pick up the phone no matter what time you’re calling just to make sure you’re ok if you called to talk/vent or to accept those drunk “I love your face” complements because you had one too many at the bar.

I’m the person who will bring you anything you need including your favorite meal all while lying to the night nurses/staff because you just popped out a little human and hospital food sucks.

The person who will look at you and say “You sure” then jump off the ledge with you into the water below, or be there to hold your hand while trying not to laugh when you are freaking out about getting your first tattoo.

The type of friend who will stay up all night while her kid is sick still making sure your wedding cupcakes or treats are still made for your special day.

I’m the person who has (and will probably do it again) give a complete stranger my coffee, bagel and shirt because someone else truly needed it more than me.

The person you come to when you need advice because I’ll actually try and find a solution, while not being afraid to say that you’re being stupid and need to pick your battles.

That friend who will make you try something on even though you know you’d never normally try it on yourself and if I’m wrong we’ll laugh about it.

The person who will sit there and completely nerd out about superheroes, anime characters, music, photography, recipes, video games….etc

I’m all those things and many more but I regret that I let a bunch of other people make me feel any less than the awesomeness that I am. Now for those who are still reading this, I know that this may come off as a big ego stroke but I’m writing this to help remind people that they themselves are amazing in their own ways. It doesn’t matter if you prefer to vent to your pets because you feel like it would be a burden to people, you indulge in the arts, prefer to be outdoors in nature, are an introvert with a small circle of friends, whatever it may be remember it is all the small things that make you wonderfully amazing and you shouldn’t let anyone make you feel less than amazing.

You can do anything you put your mind too and should surround yourself with people who will build you up instead of tearing you down. Those who truly care and aren’t just around to start drama when you stand up for yourself. You are amazing and you are in control of your own crazy roller coaster that is known as life.

No resolutions for me…

It’s been almost two full weeks into the New Year, and I want 2016 to be the year people actually accomplish stuff. It doesn’t matter if it is getting your first pull-up, running your first muddy marathon, or learning to play that guitar that sits there unused since you bought it at that random garage sale. And the way you’re going to do that is by saying no to resolutions.

Most New Year’s resolutions are hallow ideas that could realistically be set any time of the year and if they actually mattered to you and could be started when you actually want to make a change. Things like….

“I’m going to exercise every day.”

“I’m going to start brushing my teeth more”

“I’m going to eat better.”

Let’s be honest, we know these things aren’t going to become habit right away yet we declare a random  goal, and then we look back at year’s end and realize we never really got out of the starting gate. Things come up, life gets busy and then the excuses start to creep their way in so you don’t feel so bad about yourself and things like…

Well I told myself I wanted to run more and eat better, and I was motivated for a few weeks, but then life got busy and it kind of faded away…Oops

..I bet that started sounding real familiar.

You need to stop with those “motivational” quotes / photos because in the end they don’t really help. Instead try to make a goal board, something where you constantly see where you want to end up and actually write a plan on how you are going to get there. Don’t get me wrong motivation / inspiration are a great way to get started on figuring out what you want to achieve but in the end it won’t do the work for you. Only you can do the work and end up with where you want to be.

That decision to sit on the couch instead of going for a run isn’t just a lack of building the habit of running — it’s reinforcing the habit of sitting on the couch. The decision to eat fast food rather than something healthy isn’t just a decision to not eat better, it’s reinforcing the behavior of eating junk food.

Our brains are a wonderful, strange and very complicated thing. It does however always look for the past of least resistance, and when you perform an activity over and over again, it requires less brain power to get you to do that thing. Do you remember how tough it was to drive a car for the first time? How nervous you would be and possibly over think every little action. Now it’s something you can do with very minimal thought and is almost second nature.

When you are looking to build a new habit, start by keeping the habit small and attainable. Make it black-and-white and don’t leave room for excuses: I did this/I did not do this. The smaller the daily goal the better. A five minute walk, five minutes of playing that guitar, or even writing every day even if it is only just 250 words. Once you achieve your daily goals they can then be turned into weekly goals and then grow again into monthly goals so on and so forth. I personally try not to set up my goals for over a month just because for me after the first month I will let some things slide and let excuses take over, having to start from square one all over again.

To help build your new habit so you are achieving your goals you need to put a reward/accountability system in place . A reward/accountability system that does two key things: increases the pain associated with skipping the new habit, and increases the pleasure associated with completing the habit.

You NEED to take the power away from your brain to say “meh, I can skip the run this one time” or “meh, I just don’t feel like it today. I’ll make up for it tomorrow.”

If you set up a reward / accountability system you can put things in place like…

If you go for a short 15 – 20min run every day for the next 4 weeks, you earn a new pair of running shoes

…or how about finally getting that fitness tracker you had your eye on or new guitar tuner. Things like this  encourages you to continue on with your goal. Reward yourself with things that reward you back and also keep you on track with your goals. Also it’s ok being hard on yourself, if you didn’t keep up with your goals YOU DON’T GET REWARDED. You wouldn’t pay someone for a job they didn’t do would you ?

It’s also very important to make our environments work for us not against us. Change things up in your home to either take away temptations or help break the reliance on them, for example try…..

Throwing out all junk food in your house.

Blocking time wasting websites on your computer or add a screen locking setting after so many minutes.

Take the TV out of your bedroom, getting a better nights sleep with help in your day to day life no matter what your goal is.

Putting your alarm clock across the room so you have to get out of bed to turn it off. If your alarm clock is your cell phone move your cell phone charger so you can’t lie in bed and check it.

Changing up your environment will let you then focus more on your goals, because once you make that first initial change you can then….

Only stock your fridge with healthy food.

Pack your gym bag and leaving it in the back of your car always so you can work out before work/after work. Or even leave it by the front door next to your purse / house keys so you can grab it as you’re leaving.

Buy a Kindle with guitar books loaded on it and bring it everywhere so you read more.

Screw relying on “willpower” you create your own success by structuring your life and making your own new routines. You can either do it by yourself or with a group of friends. If you can find a group of friends or even just one person who has the same goals as you use each other to keep the accountability in achieving said goals. Plus you can implement a “lazy” fee, simply tell one another that if we try pulling the “not today” excuse you then owe the other person something. It could be as simple as five dollars or build up to “You now owe me lunch“. Finding people who have the same goals or even similar ones (going to the gym more or loosing those last ten pounds can work hand in hand) is a great way to not only keep up your goals but keep an interest in making a real change.

My only last piece of advice would be use Google to your advantage. The internet it a wonderful thing if you let it be, it has many solutions to almost any goal. There are recipes galore, tips and tricks on how to take those first few steps, even forms / groups where you can ask advice (most of the time judgement free).

So good luck to everyone, I hope this helps you not only set some new goals for yourself but also keep them.